Anxiety and Depression Medication: Why Taking It Isn’t Failing?

If the idea of starting medication for your anxiety and depression makes you feel like you’ve failed, you’re not alone.

When I start working with a new client, I share that it usually takes 4-6 sessions to start seeing progress. If we get there and nothing has shifted, and the coping tools aren’t holding, I’ll bring up something that can feel scary to hear: whether medication might be the missing piece. It’s never a verdict on you. It’s me wanting you to have every tool available.

“I’m against medication.”

I hear it all the time. And underneath it, there’s usually a quieter sentence: If I need it, I’ve failed.

That conversation is rarely easy. For many people, starting medication carries shame. If you grew up hearing “just push through” or “we don’t talk about that,” asking for help can already feel like breaking a rule. Medication can feel like the loudest version of it.

So let’s talk about the big M word.

A story about burnout

A client once told her family doctor she was burning out, and the doctor offered medication. She said yes, but before filling the prescription, she wanted my professional opinion. Here’s what I shared with her. (Details have been changed to protect her privacy.)

First, as a mental health practitioner, I’m a big believer in medication as a support for your mental health. I’m not here to push you either way, though. I want you to have the full picture so the choice is yours.

Second, as a social worker, I don’t prescribe medication, so I always encourage a thorough conversation with your family doctor or pharmacist.

And third, medication is one tool, not the whole toolbox. It won’t fix a job that’s burning you out or a family situation that’s draining you. What it can do is turn down the noise enough that you can use therapy, rest, and boundaries to make those changes.

What should I ask my doctor?

What’s my goal with starting medication?
It could be fewer intrusive thoughts or panic attacks. It could be getting back the energy or motivation that depression has taken away. It could simply be feeling more able to manage your symptoms.

What side effects should I expect?
You need to know whether you can live with them.

• If you have a history of heart issues, some medications may not be a good fit.
• Some medications for anxiety and depression can increase anxiety for a while before they start working, which can take several weeks.
• Some can cause weight gain. If body image is already a struggle, say so. If you’ve lived with an eating disorder such as anorexia, a medication that suppresses your appetite is an important conversation to have.
• If you notice new or worsening thoughts of suicide, call your doctor right away. If you’re in crisis, you can call or text 9-8-8 at any time.

Am I taking anything else?
You want to make sure your medications don’t interfere with or cancel each other out.

It also helps to write your questions down before the appointment. And if you don’t feel heard, you have the right to get a second opinion.

Common myths about medication

I want to debunk a few of these because in my experience, medication has been very helpful in the therapeutic treatment of my clients. Their symptoms eased, they were able to engage more in sessions, and between sessions they struggled less.

“I’ll become dependent on it.”

Medications for anxiety and depression don’t work like drugs that give you a high, and they don’t temporarily erase depression the way substances do. They aren’t habit-forming in that sense, and you won’t need more and more to feel okay.

According to the Canadian Mental Health Association the exception is a group of anti-anxiety medications called benzodiazepines, which can cause dependence if they aren’t used carefully. If your doctor suggests one, ask about the benefits and the risks.

And you always have the choice to stop. The safest way is to taper slowly with your doctor, never suddenly. I’ve seen clients make big changes: a new job, more support at home, hiring help with cleaning or childcare, a new environment, firmer boundaries. Some notice that even when life gets bumpy, they’re coping better than they expected. So, they talk to their doctor about coming off. For some, it works, and they’re done. For others, the symptoms come back, which tells them and their doctor that medication is still part of what keeps them well. Both are completely fine.

“If the first one doesn’t work, nothing will.”

There are many different kinds of medication, and it often takes a few tries to find the right fit. It’s frustrating when you just want to feel better, but it’s hard for doctors to predict how you’ll respond without trying. A first attempt that doesn’t work isn’t a dead end.

“I should be able to handle this on my own.”

Our brains react to life, and sometimes life is really hard. If you broke your leg, you wouldn’t white-knuckle it. You’d get a cast and still do the physio. Mental health is the same. Medication can help, and therapy helps you do the work.

You don’t have to wait until you’re at your breaking point to deserve relief. You don’t need panic attacks every day, or intrusive or suicidal thoughts every day. Depression doesn’t have to swallow your energy and the things you love. Your mood doesn’t have to stay low. You don’t have to go through the motions every day. If medication can help you feel better, not just get through the day, why not talk about it with your doctor?

What clients tell me after they start

• “I can finally focus at work.”
• “My mind is quieter.”
• “I don’t feel drained every day.”
• “I can sit through a family dinner without dreading it.”
• “I can enjoy my kids again.”
• “I feel like myself again.”

It’s sad to see medication treated as the “evil” solution, when it can be the thing that lowers the noise enough for healing to begin.

When that client started her medication and mentioned it to a friend, she found out her friend was on medication too. Surprising? Not really. A Public Health Agency of Canada study of adults with a diagnosed mood or anxiety disorder found that about three in four reported taking medication, either on its own or alongside counselling. For many people, combining therapy and medication helps more than “toughing it out” alone.

How do I know if it’s time to consider medication?

Screeners can help you see where your symptoms sit. For depression, there’s the PHQ-9 or the Beck Depression Inventory. For anxiety, there’s the GAD-7. Both ask about the past two weeks. In my practice, a score in the severe range is when I always raise medication, and moderate is a conversation worth having.

Screeners are tools, not a diagnosis. A number is a number, and a thorough conversation with your doctor matters more.

It’s also worth asking yourself:

• Are you eating regularly?
• Are you keeping up with basics like washing up?
• Are you sleeping most nights, or far more or far less than usual?
• Are you drinking water?
• Have you spent time with friends or family in the past two weeks?

Mainly: are you giving your body what it needs to function?

You don’t have to figure this out alone

If you’re sitting with this question, you’re not failing, and you don’t have to answer it alone. I offer a free consultation to talk through what you’re experiencing and what support could look like. Start your journey today and book a free 15-minute call with me.