Over the past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on how conversations about hate, belonging, and identity continue to shape our communities. As a therapist, I often witness the deep emotional and physical impact that racism leaves behind, not just as isolated incidents, but as ongoing experiences that live in our bodies and minds. Attending Durham’s Anti-Hate Conference last week reminded me of both the progress we’ve made and the pain that still lingers.
I’m happy we still talk about it, name it, and get together to find solutions. But I’m also saddened to know it still exists, that there is fear in being who you are, that being us doesn’t always mean being safe, even in a country that’s supposed to be welcoming.
What Is Racial Trauma?
Racial trauma is real.
It refers to the mental and emotional injury caused by experiencing or witnessing racial discrimination, bias, or prejudice. It can happen through a single event, but more often it builds up over time through repeated microaggressions and racist incidents that wear you down.
Racial trauma is trauma, which means it lives in the body and can appear when you least expect it, in tense shoulders, headaches, sleep problems, or a racing heart. It can show up as anxiety before entering certain spaces, or as emotional exhaustion from having to explain, again, why something was harmful.
For example, years ago during an interview, I was asked, “Tell us how you stand up against racism in your work and personal life.”
I froze. The first thing that came to mind was a painful work experience when I had filed a complaint about racism to support myself and my co-workers. But that isn’t something you usually want to share in an interview.
Suddenly, I started to cry. I didn’t understand why. I had talked about that experience many times before, but in that context, I felt scared again. My body remembered, even when my mind wanted to move on. That’s how racial trauma works, it can be triggered unexpectedly, reminding you that healing is ongoing.
Healing from Racial Trauma
Racism exists. There’s no denying it — at least, I won’t.
So what do we do?
Healing doesn’t mean pretending racism doesn’t hurt. It means allowing ourselves to feel, to name what happened, and to reconnect with our sense of worth and community.
As a therapist, I’m here to validate your experience. Racism is not small, it’s harmful. It can be invisible, but it feels excruciating. Healing can take many forms: therapy, rest, storytelling, activism, or creating art.
We also need allies. Attending the conference was rejuvenating for me. Trauma often leaves us with feelings of guilt and shame, even though what happened wasn’t our fault and we didn’t deserve it. Finding allies reminds us that we are not alone, that healing can also be collective.
Community care is just as powerful as self-care. We heal when we are witnessed, believed, and supported.
Healing racial trauma starts with recognition. You are not “too sensitive.” You are responding to something very real.
As I left the conference, I felt a mix of heaviness and hope, heaviness because the work continues, but hope because I saw people willing to face it together.
Talking about racial trauma isn’t easy, but silence only deepens the wounds. Every conversation, every act of solidarity, every moment of empathy brings us closer to collective healing.
We all have a role to play in creating a world where being who you are isn’t something to fear, but something to celebrate.
Healing racial trauma takes time, compassion, and community. Whether you’re processing the past, finding your voice, or learning to rest, your story matters.
At the conference, we received some tools that can help to combat hate in Durham Region: https://www.durham.ca/en/regional-government/together-against-hate-durham.aspx
As a therapist, I work with second-generation Canadians in Ontario who are ready to move from survival to self-connection.
If this resonates, I’d love to walk alongside you in your healing journey. Connect with me to learn more about working together.
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